It's almost Chanukah and I've been reflecting on all the holidays that have come and gone in the last 18 months, both secular and religious.
Though I have made note of some of them by participating in a few, specifically the High Holidays and Shabbat services, most of the others have received little or no attention from me. I've done nothing for Passover except buy a few boxes of matzah. (I know, but I happen to like the stuff!) I haven't gone to any Passover seder. Last year I put an electric chanukiah in the window. This year I'm not even pulling it out. I did all the Shabbat blessings last night for the first time and it felt just as I expected. Someone was missing to make it feel complete and meaningful.
On Thanksgiving I made a turkey and had my son and a friend over. It was a nice meal. July fourth is now just another day. I do watch the Boston Pops Fourth of July concert, though. We've done that for years and years and now I continue to do that. But that's a difficult few days since our anniversary was July third.
I don't get excited about any of this simply because it's not fun when there is no one to share these days with. Alone is a word that I can hardly wrap my head around but it's there, in front of me, in huge capital letters: ALONE.* Nevertheless, I'm becoming used to and still making my peace with it. So, celebrating holidays has become unimportant and irrelevant for me.
But I take pleasure in hoping and wishing that everyone else enjoys all the holidays they love and participate in. I wish you all good health, good cheer, much happiness and a lifetime of giggles and laughter.....much laughter.
* I may be alone but not without companions.... my two furry doggies help me to keep my sense of humor and my sanity. They bring me much joy and yes, a lot of giggles and laughter.
Now I just need some chocolate!
Copyright © 2018. Reisa Sterling Miller. All Rights Reserved.
Saturday, December 1, 2018
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