Andy, the curmudgeon

So, Andy Rooney is hanging it up.  Who will be the next curmudgeon?  Maybe I should apply for the job.  His annoyances all made sense to me!  He spoke his mind, succinctly, penetratingly sharp, sarcastic and with a sharp wit. He'll be missed. 

I like to write what's on my mind.  It would be better if I could get paid for it, though.  Now, how do I download an application?????????