Perhaps we will sit on that cloud forever.

We're sitting on a cloud, side by side, about forty to fifty feet above our back yard and just enjoying the view and the peacefulness. The conversation is soft and pensive. We speak wistfully about the landmarks that dotted our lives, starting with our wedding day. When we talk about what we considered to be the best day of our lives, we laugh and agree that there was more than just one "best day of our lives." Our wedding day and the days each one of our sons was born comes to mind. And there were so many more!

The reminiscing continues as we remember so many wonderful things that encompassed our lives: the experience of being in the Air Force for five years and our travels during that time - the incredible friends we made and places we saw; our subsequent civilian moves, settling in a few states and making more wonderful friends along the way.

After all of this comes flashing through my mind at lightning speed, other thoughts start to crowd in.

I tell him I never expected him to die. I felt that way all throughout the ordeal we lived through. I always thought we, together, would beat this scourge.

Even during his last few days, I tell him, "I never once thought things wouldn't turn around."

He smiles at me, gives me a hug and says my optimism was contagious and that he, too, had the hope of a recovery.

"I never saw you doubt what you were doing to get well," I whispered.

"I never did." he says.

And so, he tells me that the only regret he has is that we didn't have more time together. We were hoping for maybe seventy years together......or just maybe forever.

But oh, look at the life we made..... so full of life and love and happiness.

And as we sit on that cloud, arms around each other, whispering softly, sighing and smiling, I know that he remains with me, always.... in my heart, in my mind, when I pick up a beautiful bird feather, when I see a single bright star, when I hear a joke or pun, or music we both loved. I remember and love him with every breath I take, every single minute of every single day and always will.....even after I take my last breath.

Copyright©2018. Reisa Sterling Miller. All Rights Reserved

I whisper

I have begun to whisper, softly at first, then a bit louder so that I appear to be talking to myself. And I am indeed, although it doesn't feel like that to me.

The crowd has gone and I am now left with the solitude. As I go about the daily act of living, everything has changed.  Yet, I don't actually see the change because I whisper to him all the time.  He is there, in a faint outline sitting in his chair, in a feeling I get as I walk through the home we shared, in responses to my musings as I go through the day.

Conversations continue and they don't seem to be one-sided.  I can hear, in my mind, his comments, observations, and repartees because we knew each other so well.  I wouldn't mind if this occurrence continued forever.  It brings comfort to a very broken heart.

His presence is very powerful right now.  It may dissipate somewhat in time but our connection is....was so strong, I know he'll always be there, by my side, whispering in my ear as I whisper back.

Copyright © 2017, Reisa Sterling Miller. All Rights Reserved