WHEN THINGS DON'T WORK

It makes me crazy when things don't work. Things like printers, computers, bread machines, blenders. I have been printing signs needed for this weekend. All was going well until there was a paper jam. So, I cleaned out the jam, made sure there were no bits of paper left in the printer and thought that would take are of the problem. I finished the signs and shut down the printer. All is good, right?

Wrong! Now, today I'm trying to print some other stuff and I get paper jams, crookedly printed documents, and documents with extra ink smeared on them. I pull everything out, I dust the damn thing, I make sure the paper is in the tray properly, I check for any extra pieces of paper that might be stuck (none) and try again. The machine starts printing and it is screeching like a %^^&^* parrot! The paper is still coming out crooked and smeared.

Who do you get to fix the thing? I don't know any teenage techies in my neighborhood. Help!