Monday, November 13, 2017

Planning for the unveiling

It was a difficult day. Although there is no religious law requiring an unveiling, it is customary to have one. An unveiling is the time when the gravestone for a loved one has been set up at the grave and "unveiled" to family and friends, usually just before the time of the first anniversary of the date of death. Today was the day I began those preparations. No final decision will be made until our sons and I decide together what will be on the monument.

I had not been to the cemetery since the funeral. But today I found myself standing at his grave and I lost it. There was a small marker there with his name on it and I just lost it. I did manage to place a stone on the marker, touch his name with my fingertips and gasp at the intensity of my anguish.

It was a distressing, difficult day.

Copyright © 2017, Reisa Sterling Miller. All Rights Reserved


  1. I can just see you there for the first time, leaving a stone, touching his name, and feeling your heart rip out again. I wish there were something I could say to lessen the pain, but we both know it's just not that easy. I think of you all the time and hope each day you find a little more peace than you did the day before.

  2. Karen, knowing that you think of me brings me a bit of peace. I get through a day at a time. Some days are better than others. Today was not one of those days but I expected it would be hard. But I trudge on. Thanks for your beautiful thoughts. Love you.

  3. Perhaps you need to heal a little longer before you put yourself into such a difficult situation. No rush to prepare this. Wait until you are less raw.

  4. I had been thinking about this and the time it would take to prepare everything. The cemetery person contacted me saying they wait about 4 months to make that call. As it turns out I could not have waited much longer. I think I would have been okay if I hadn't gone over to his grave.