I have written sixty-four previous blog posts since August 31, 2016 about my beloved Warren, our journey through one of the most wretched experiences humans can endure and the gut-wrenching sadness that accompanied my soul and still, even now, rides alongside me as a never-ending companion.
It has been said that "time heals all wounds" but that isn't really true. Some wounds never heal but they change with time from a wide open, blood and tear-gushing, anguish-filled mental laceration to a barely tolerable white flag cease fire.
Being left with the beautiful, sweet, loving memories isn't always enough. And just because he died doesn't mean that my love has somehow subsided. My love for him is just as strong now as it always has been. My heart always raced when he came into view and it still does when my eyes fall on one of the many photos of him I have around our home. Whenever I see his handsome smiling face, I smile, too.
Every day, as I continue to live my life, I feel his influence, his presence in an ethereal way. One of the things I miss most is his all-encompassing embrace. He was a hugger filling me with warmth, comfort and love when encircled by his arms. I have always thought of our fifty-five year love affair (51 of them married) as being so incredibly wonderful, literally one in a million, blessed with the best.
His life has not really ended for me. It's just a new way I'm teaching myself to look at it.
In all the posts that have appeared before, I have poured out my heart, kicking and screaming, crying and laughing, filled with sorrow and heartache and the most beautiful memories....revealing a road I never thought I would have to follow.
And while I think I have written just about all there is to write about my Beloved Warren, this may not really be an epilogue. He is always on my mind, always in my heart, always walking beside me, always a large part of who I am. I am not me, singular, but part of an extraordinary duo, now concentrated in the actions I take and the decisions I make, guided by our compatibility and love. I don't know if I will continue to post about this journey I'm still on but if something (or someone) nudges me to take to these Warren pages again, I will return and add however many encores about him that still flow out of my heart.
Oh, but I remember that time when ........🤗🤗🤗
Copyright © 2019 Reisa Sterling Miller. All Rights Reserved.
Saturday, November 16, 2019
A sort of Epilogue, Maybe...or Not
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