I've recently had some not so bad days. Today wasn't one of them. I spent most of the morning crying so hard, my chest literally hurt. The pain was sharp enough for me to take a baby aspirin. It started, as usual, while I was driving. I cry out so loud I sometimes wonder if people driving beside me can hear me. I can't seem to get out of the chaos that envelopes my whole being.
I'm not looking for this chaos to stop any time soon. The way of grieving is such an individual thing. I suspect that these meltdowns will be with me for the rest of my life. Maybe they won't occur as often....or maybe they will. I'll just have my bottle of aspirin handy and a lot of tissues.