I don't get tired of crying. Whether it's tears just rolling down my face or the tears are copious enough to make me gasp, the end result is the same. It seems as natural to me as blinking. The tears are an ending of a small portion of my day when my thoughts have gone to that place. And, willingly or not, I go to that place every day. The events that bring up that place are always there, buried most of the time deep inside but not always.
I've been looking through a lot of old photos, a few every couple of days just to bring those wonderful and funny memories to the forefront, even though they're in my head all the time. Sometimes the photos and their accompanying memories elicit sobs but many times the reaction is total laughter.
The thing about laughter was that when I laughed, it made Warren giggle. When something struck me funny, my laughter would bubble up and burst not only from my mouth but from the very bottom of my feet, or as my dad used to say, "from the bottom of my pedeshvas." I don't know if that was a Yiddish word or something my dad made up but he used it to describe my laughter.
Anyway, when I laughed, I couldn't stop. Most of the time I laughed so damn long that Warren had to try to calm me down. Sometimes my laughter would continue for 15-20minutes, with me gasping for breath. When I finally did stop, it wasn't for long. It would bubble up again and again. My laughter was one of the things that Warren loved about me. No need to tickle, just crack a joke or a pun and off I'd go!
So, when I'm reduced to tears and sobs, I search for the memories that will bring up the laughter. And it's the laughter that helps me keep my sanity.
Copyright © 2018. Reisa Sterling Miller. All Rights Reserved.