Tuesday, June 22, 2021

1461 days

 It's been four years since my life was ripped apart, my heart was smashed into millions of pieces, my sons lost their best friend, and so did I. But during these 1461 days, I have seen Warren's strength, intelligence, sense of humor and love become so much more conspicuous through our sons, Ethan and Abbott. These two have channeled their dad so naturally and so completely that most of our conversations, texts and emails have us convulsing in laughter. And in the back of my mind, I can hear Warren joining in and I can see his beautiful twinkling eyes and wide, magnificently exquisite smile. 

The three of us are so lucky to have the memories that we do. Every conversation we have always includes Warren's input in one way or another and his presence is unmistakeable.

I'm grateful for the thousands of photos I have and the not enough videos and voicemails I still have. I carry those everywhere so he's always with me, visually and audibly. And he's in my heart and head,  always and in all ways. 

But grief has been my companion for 1461 days and it has never left me alone. It has changed but has never gotten easier because I miss his voice, his laughter, his puns and jokes, his hugs. I miss everything about him. It is ever present, it just feels and looks different now. Some days it is vivid and some days it hides just below the surface. But the grief I feel is always a reminder of the great love we had.

How can it already be 1461 days? It seems like only yesterday. My Love, my beloved Warren, I hug you in my thoughts every day.

Copyright © 2021. Reisa Sterling Miller. All Rights Reserved.

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