Monday, January 25, 2010


I am of the Beatles, Vietnam, Woodstock generation.  I am nearing the ages when my own parents did not have much time left.  After my parents died I experienced an enormous amount of anxiety lasting several years about the possibility of dying.  Then it subsided for a lot of years and I just didn't think about it.

My husband and I are relatively healthy, take no medications (we hate to enrich the coffers of Big Pharma,) exercise, watch our weight and eat in a healthy manner.
So what is causing me to think about this?  After having just lived through a car crash without major injuries, I am taking stock of what a crap-shoot life can be.  And I think of how lucky that we are here and escaped with just some aches and pains.

Several of my high school and college friends and acquaintances are no longer here. Those I am in touch with seem to be doing well.  Some have a few health issues but none are life threatening (as far as I know.)  I think about those who are gone and wish I could find that  %*&@#  magic wand I thought I had so I could wave that precious life-giving breath back into their lives.

But, we have come to that place and people my age, who should be looking forward to a lovely "fall-winter" of their lives stretching on for several more years of pain-free enjoyment, must also make plans.  And it's the making of those plans that dredges up that old anxiety once again. 

But I will take the cue from my husband's Uncle Max who, at the age of 90, took out a 20 year CD so he would have something to live on for the last 10 years of his life.  He expected to take the whole 120 years given in the bible.  He didn't quite make it but he gave it a really good try.

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